Telling The Truth About Aging: We all do it!

So you’ve made it to your Third Trimester. Now it’s time to tell the truth.  You really are aging! It’s natural and it can actually be fun.

This except from  10 Secrets to Better Aging – Woman’s Day  says it all.

Make it a point to reflect on the benefits of aging, instead of focusing on the negative. “Your knowledge and experience mean you don’t make as many mistakes as when you were younger. You stop comparing yourself to others, and that’s a great psychic relief,” says Bennett of TimeGoesBy.net. “Most older people let go of the cultural insistence to do, do, do and accomplish, accomplish, accomplish. It’s time to reflect on what’s gone before, to get to know yourself and your world better. And, there’s time to follow up on all those things you put off during midlife because you were too busy with your career and children.”

When we tell the truth about aging, we find it is really a GOOD thing, not the NEGATIVE thing we were lead to believe when we were younger.  I have interviewed many Third Trimester people and they all say the same thing. ” I am happier now than at any other time in my life.”  Statistics show this is true as well.

The now famous U-bend is shown here.  There seems to be no doubt after the 2nd trimester (30-60 year olds) we just get happier and happier.

If you are in your Third Trimester, tell us how it is for you.  Are you in fact, happier now than ever before?  If you are approaching or are just entering the Third Trimester let us know your fears about aging and what you are doing to embrace it with positive attitudes rather than fear and trepidation.  Upcoming blogs will speak to health issues sometimes encountered in this the Third Trimester, but first, it is important to know that well-being is NOT lost as we age.  It just gets better and better.

Comments and questions are welcome.

14 Comments

Filed under Aging, Change, Choice, Health and Well Being, Introductory Material

14 Responses to Telling The Truth About Aging: We all do it!

  1. Larry Snyder

    I’m 72 and still working for fear of dieing of bordom. I feel I still have things to contribute. I’ve worked for someone else since I was 9 years old.

  2. Totally – we grow golden as we we ripen. :)

  3. I am in my second trimester – and even now, I feel happier and happier as days go by!! :) Great article!

    • I know, Astra. I have not found anyone (short of severe illness and even then it’s present) who doesn’t feel that way. Imagine how much better it will be soon!!! Yippee! I think the days of seeing “old age” as negative are ending along with many other negative belief systems.

  4. Susan

    Fascinating stuff, Sandy! For me there’s always been something very comforting about seeing the sweep of a lifetime at a glance — reading a biography, or viewing a graph like the one you posted here — because it reminds me that we really have nothing to fear. We’re all in it together, and as you said, we all do it!

    • Susan – that’s a great perspective. Thanks for the reminder that we have nothing to fear. I for one am glad to have others like you to share this journey!

  5. Ed, this was a perfect reaction to a very real event. I am so glad you are following this blog and contributing in the wonderful way you do.
    Your song was touching and of course, I remember it as well, so sweet to hear it once more through your voice. You serve as a reminder of the pioneering work that was done during the time you describe. I too had much of that initial potential growth movement exposure. There are many more of us as I’m sure you know.
    I hope your new location serves your needs and know you are also welcome here as a part of the Third Trimester Cyber Community!!!

  6. Connie – I believe there is a larger and larger body of those who would agree with what you are saying. It is an exciting time for us all. Thanks for your comment and I look forward to hearing from you again. Soon, I will be creating an online Facebook group where we can all learn from one another. Until then, feel free to email, follow me on Facebook or fill in the mailing list form on my blog to be notified of any new activity here.

  7. Connie Johnson

    Yes I agree, I’m happier now than I’ve been in years. I want to move forward to create a new way of living. One to take good care of my self. While reaching out and joining a community of people. Whom believes in caring for others and building the kind of world we all wish to live in.

  8. Hi Sandy and others–

    Thank you so much, Sandy, for this wonderful piece about aging. It meant a lot to me, especially because I’ve been thinking a lot about my own aging recently.

    I have a rather long story to tell, grounded in my reading “Telling the Truth about Aging: We All Do It!”. I was intrigued by your thoughts, and delighted with the piece from Woman’s Day by Ronni Bennett. Her website, TimeGoesBy.net, makes a very important point; The need to be positive.

    I have just turned 80, and because of some respiration problems as well as a number of other reasons, I have decided to sell my house and move to a senior apartment complex. Deciding which of the 20 or so of these units in Tucson is not easy. One factor, however, is that some of them have what is described as a continuum of care. That is, there is a large unit for independent living, another for assisted living, and a third which is essentially a nursing home. Some, however, have only the independent living area, and no continuum of care facilities. Thus, if one’s health or general well-being required to move from an independent living area, one would have to move to a totally different facility. Of the units that I have checked out, the one that I like the best does not have a continuum of care. What to do? Should I plan for the future, assume that I will need assisted care or a nursing home, and thus select a less desirable unit to avoid having to move at a later date? Or should I simply choose the unit that as of right now I like the best?

    In the 30s, my mother, who was the power in our family, was very much into delaying gratification, save for the future, planning ahead. One of my outstanding memories from childhood was when I came home from 4th grade one day with a report card to show where they had all As except for one B. I was delighted and proud; eager to show it to my mother. But I was disappointed. I suppose in a certain fashion she was pleased with it, but her comment was “Well, if you work really hard in the next quarter, maybe you can get all As. I remember being hurt, since praise from my mother was a rare commodity – and I had surely expected some.

    But my life has been influenced subsequently by choosing the values associated with the 60s. Just after I finished reading in bed last night your very positive piece about aging, a song came on the radio which is my favorite of all time. Every time I hear it, it brings tears, because this context is so important to me. The title of the song is “Today…”, and I think it was mostly made popular by Bob Dylan. I’ll include the words here.

    Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine,
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine.
A million tomorrows shall all pass away, ‘ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today.
I’ll be a dandy and I’ll be a rover, you’ll know who I am by the songs that I sing.
I’ll feast at your table, I’ll sleep in your clover, who cares what tomorrow shall bring?

Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine,
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine.
A million tomorrow shall all pass away, ‘ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today.
I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory, I can’t live on promises winter to spring.
Today is my moment, now is my story, I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing.

Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine,
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine.
A million tomorrow shall all pass away, ‘ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today.

    The first time I heard it, a lovely young lady who was a participant in a Sensitivity Training workshop I was attending, sang it, unaccompanied and unannounced, to a group of about 200 of us. We had been working hard with the theme of living in the present and it meant a lot to us. I’ll never forget the moment.

    At any rate, I have clearly decided to select the housing unit which is best for me right now, and worry about the future when it becomes the present.

    Many thanks, Sandy, for your help.

    Ed

  9. Wow, that graph is eye opening! I feel like I’m finally coming out of my mid life crisis at 44 and boy was it rough! I look forward to things going up and up from here!

    • Michelle – You probably are coming out of that “mid-life crisis”. I always said it took me 3 years to get ready and 3 years to get over being 40! lol.

      But I do believe at 40 we can finally see as far back as we can forward. Up until that time, it was a long future ahead and at 40 we finally realize that 40 more years and we will be 80! That makes for a new perspective. Always a good thing. Thanks for sharing yours.

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