Tag Archives: grandparents

I cleaned out a closet this week and there they were again! Old photos, old journals, letters from friends and family, sweet little messages from my kids when they were young, from grandchildren too.  They are all just old, old memories now.

On a recent to trip to Salt Lake City, I visited the Family History Museum at Temple Square.  The Mormons really know how to do genealogy and folks can come in, explore, poke around and find all kinds of information on their family.  It occurred to me that our memories fade unless preserved in some way. Genealogy is one approach to keeping them of course, but what are someothers?

What do YOU do with old memories, old photos, old letters? What will you want done with them when you are no longer their keeper?
Let’s talk about memories.  What purpose do they serve if any?  How can they bind us and how can they free us and do we want to have them effect us in any other ways?

Ok, the word is out!  It’s never too late for sex! 

If you don’t believe it, watch the film “Hope Springs”.  Meryl Streep plays a, possibly over-exaggerated, but sweet and outwardly compliant woman in her???Sixties??? And Tommy Lee Jones plays her boring, over-routinized husband.

Streep’s character is still “feeling the urge”. Her husband doesn’t seem to even notice and eventually she lays down the law in a surprisingly strong stand for her own needs and they both go see a couple’s therapist. (Albeit Jones’ decision to join his wife was at the very last minute, he too participates in his own way.)

Beyond that, you have to see the movie for yourself, and if you haven’t, I encourage you to see it. If you have, you may relate to some if not all the depictions in the film.

A discussion on Sex is long overdue for this blog.  I have explored a lot about other relationships in our lives – work, family, societal, personal.  This topic covers all those topics and even more.

Whether we are married, currently partnered, dating or given up on any of those states, we all have much to share.  Remember, our experiences add to our wisdoms at this age. So read on.  All comments and discussions are welcome here.

Certainly, it’s not necessary to drag out old exploits, or even old grudges and resentments to past (or present) partners.  But we can examine with one another what our past, our current and our hoped for beliefs about sex are for us at this stage of life.

Some of the questions I’ve been asking myself and I encourage you to comment about are:

•      What are some of my beliefs and behaviors with sex in the past
•      Where am I now in my relationship to my own sexuality
•      Do I believe sex is “over” for me at this stage in my life
•      If it’s not “over” how is it different and the same?
•      How does physical attractiveness play a part in my sex life? (or not)
•      Fears, anger, enjoyment, anticipation are all emotions I may have about sex at this age. 
•      What are some other feelings I have around it?
•      Is sex primarily a physical or emotional experience? Now? In the Past? For the Future?

Let’s see where we go with this discussion.  This is not a place to be explicit, or for others to be explicit so keep comments with that in mind. If you think you want to explore further into the true nature of your Life’s Third Trimester in all its aspects, this may be a good place to start.

While there is a reality about “sexual dysfunction” for both men and women, my intention is to go beyond the medical and physical realities of that, there are plenty of articles and books written around those issues and I’ll be happy to provide links.  I can also set up appointments for further counseling sessions if anyone is interested.

I would hope that this blog discussion is more personal, more positive, and while physical changes at our age are normal, they are not necessarily definitive of who we are!

As Third Trimester’s how do you view Tradition?

This is a month where tradition abounds. Many traditions are religious based even though we may not consider ourselves to be religious.  During Hanukkah the tradition of lighting the menorah, at Christmas the lighting of the tree and both include the giving of gifts and story telling as a tradition. Solstice also brings the tradition and ritual of light bringing as does Kwannsah. Other traditions this month may include social traditions of volunteering, feeding the poor and hungry, extra charity giving.

Of course there are Traditions around every time of our year. National Holidays like Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Memorial Day hold many traditions. Some religions have traditions around the Spring of the year such as Easter, Yom Kipper, Spring Equinox and Naw Ruz. Birthdays carry many traditions as well.  So, you can reflext on Traditions in your life’s from an all year round perspective.

As you look at what traditions you  have developed and what  purpose they serve you can ask yourself:  ”Do I still hold tradition as sacred or as a tool to gain what it is I want to be, do or have?”  You can also reflect on how you view Traditions from a Life’s Third Trimester perspective. Do you hang on to Tradition in order to maintain it or do you recreate it out of sentiment?  Do you reject it as old-fashioned and not worthy of our better nature?  Or do you simply view it as choice – something to continue or discontinue.

What does tradition serve for YOU and how do you maintain it if you want it to survive?  Are some traditions better left alone? Some simply outworn and need to be put aside or better yet away?

It could be that in our Second Trimester (our 30’s, 40’s and 50’s) we tossed aside many a tradition or built new ones especially around holidays.  In that Trimester we found many traditions we thought prudent to ignore or to change. How many of us remember the tradition of having a family fight during a holiday? Or, obligatory visits to disagreeable relatives that made everyone uncomfortable? What about trying to impress family or friends or bosses with expensive gifts?

But this our THIRD Trimester and a different view of tradition may creep in that is neither for nor against what we used to consider to be a straightjacket tradition of the past. It’s important to look at  how we in our Third Trimester Remember and Hold Traditions, how we in our Third Trimester have Created New Traditions and What Traditions will we be creating as we travel through our 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.

Share your ideas from this exploration of thought with others, friends, family and most importantly yourself.  Write in your Journal, create a Poem or a Story or even a List of your Own Traditions.  Have Fun!!