Ok, the word is out! It’s never too late for sex!
If you don’t believe it, watch the film “Hope Springs”. Meryl Streep plays a, possibly over-exaggerated, but sweet and outwardly compliant woman in her???Sixties??? And Tommy Lee Jones plays her boring, over-routinized husband.
Streep’s character is still “feeling the urge”. Her husband doesn’t seem to even notice and eventually she lays down the law in a surprisingly strong stand for her own needs and they both go see a couple’s therapist. (Albeit Jones’ decision to join his wife was at the very last minute, he too participates in his own way.)
Beyond that, you have to see the movie for yourself, and if you haven’t, I encourage you to see it. If you have, you may relate to some if not all the depictions in the film.
A discussion on Sex is long overdue for this blog. I have explored a lot about other relationships in our lives – work, family, societal, personal. This topic covers all those topics and even more.
Whether we are married, currently partnered, dating or given up on any of those states, we all have much to share. Remember, our experiences add to our wisdoms at this age. So read on. All comments and discussions are welcome here.
Certainly, it’s not necessary to drag out old exploits, or even old grudges and resentments to past (or present) partners. But we can examine with one another what our past, our current and our hoped for beliefs about sex are for us at this stage of life.
Some of the questions I’ve been asking myself and I encourage you to comment about are:
- What are some of my beliefs and behaviors with sex in the past
- Where am I now in my relationship to my own sexuality
- Do I believe sex is “over” for me at this stage in my life
- If it’s not “over” how is it different and the same?
- How does physical attractiveness play a part in my sex life? (or not)
- Fears, anger, enjoyment, anticipation are all emotions I may have about sex at this age.
- What are some other feelings I have around it?
- Is sex primarily a physical or emotional experience? Now? In the Past? For the Future?
Let’s see where we go with this discussion. This is not a place to be explicit, or for others to be explicit so keep comments with that in mind. If you think you want to explore further into the true nature of your Life’s Third Trimester in all its aspects, this may be a good place to start.
While there is a reality about “sexual dysfunction” for both men and women, my intention is to go beyond the medical and physical realities of that, there are plenty of articles and books written around those issues and I’ll be happy to provide links. I can also set up appointments for further counseling sessions if anyone is interested.
I would hope that this blog discussion is more personal, more positive, and while physical changes at our age are normal, they are not necessarily definitive of who we are!
A great topic for discussion Sandy. So often we don’t want to broach the topic because we think it is to personal to discuss. I agree with Gladys that it is important to feel sexy and attractive at any age and to be open to our feelings about sex. I loved the movie, saw it some time ago when it first came out.
Great questions Sandy. Thanks for bringing it up. I think that some of the thoughts would be different based on the length of the relationship though we all want and need intimacy. I feel the intimacy starts with our ability to be open and vulnerable with someone else as starting with our thoughts and feelings.
Great blog post, Sandy! Being sexy and feeling sexy at any age is important. There are few acts that allow us to be as vulnerable and intimate with someone else as when we give ourselves to another — mind, body, and soul. I’m interested to see what other comment!
In our discussion group today, we agreed with what you are saying Gladys and also we valued how different each of us is in regard to this topic. Thanks for the comment, hope we get lots more!!! Good topic and I’ll keep posting around things like health, attitude, etc. at this stage of life.
I just watched that movie and thoroughly enjoyed it. The unspoken nuances were brilliant. Thanks for getting this conversation going. Here is what I am learning as I get older. Having an open and honest discussion with my significant other about how aging impacts our life in every way including sex learning, and adjusting as we go. Having an accepting and lighthearted attitude helps a lot. I’m looking forward to what others have to say.
Thanks Becci. yes, I agree it is the openness that allows for more intimacy. I think as we age and adjust we find more and more to experience together as well.