“My children and grandchildren are not mine by blood. But they turned my view of despair in the third trimester, into a time of comfort and hope. I had been so worried about the world they would inherit and there was so little I could do about it. Suddenly I realized that they have greater capacity to change it than I ever did, and would not simply fall victim to it. All I need to do is get their minds thinking compassionately and creatively. They will reach far beyond what I ever achieved; and somehow it comforts me to know that in some sense, they will plant flags on pinnacles I could not have traversed … and “Heepa’s” (grandpa’s) initials will be in the credits (posthumously). I rest easy now.”
from Steve Andison
This post is about our Legacies, what we give back to the world. How we want to be remembered. What change can we still effect even if we are no longer here. The above quote by Steve is a poignant one. It speaks to what many of us in our Third Trimester have in common, progeny, grandchildren, family, descendents. But what of those of us who have not had children, who even, perhaps were only children with no siblings, and little family?
The concept of giving back is a strong, insistent conversation for this time in our lifes when we are contemplating the inevitable future and reviewing the recent or long ago past of our lives. So it can be a good time to figure out the answer to the question:
WHAT IS A LEGACY?
Does it include money, talents, gifts, art, concepts, good works, new ideas? Can anyone leave a legacy? If so, what legacy will you intend to leave when you are no longer on this earth? Here is the Oxford definition of Legacy:
leg·a·cy
[leg-uh-see] noun, plural - cies
1. Law: a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.
2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor
or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.
3. an applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.
4. Obsolete: the office, function, or commission of a legate.
5. (adjective) of or pertaining to old or outdated
computer hardware, software, or data that, while still functional,
does not work well with up-to-date systems.
HOW DOES THAT APPLY TO YOU?
Hmmmm, that number 5 definition of legacy as pertaining to old or outdated equipment that functions but does not work well with up-to-date systems could be a hint to those of us living in the past. Will that be our only legacy? Our out-dated views, our clash with the present? I think not for me and not for many other Third Trimesters as well. Yet, the constant battle to stay current in the world with current events, technology, human interactions, not to mention fashion, jargon, film, art, music . . . the list goes on and on . . . can be a challenge but can also be an opportunity.
If we are in fact able to stay in touch with the rest of the world in a relevant, contributing manner, is that a legacy we leave for others to follow in our footsteps? Is it saying – “Yes, we can be viable, contributing members of society as we age?” In fact, it can say that we are even more able to contribute because we are in touch, because we can relate to all generations and serve as an example to others what this age is capable of within the entire make up of our society. ( see my previous post on using the internet without frustration)
WHAT WILL YOU LEAVE BEHIND?
When my oldest and last to be married daughter asked me to give a toast at her wedding reception, I thought long and hard about what I would say. Drawing from my experience in public speaking, I considered the audience. What I saw was a conglomeration of friends and family from all age groups, all races and in various relationships. Here is what I said:
“When my children were young, I knew I would not have much of a monetary legacy to leave them, and so I looked into the future and asked myself ‘What will they most need to survive’. I realized that living with change and diversity would be the best legacy I could give them. And so I taught them how to do that. Here today, I see that legacy alive. Kathleen and Carlo have many diverse friends, their families include step parents, siblings and step siblings, half siblings and grandparents on both sides that are very different one from another. Yet here we are all celebrating their union and contributing to their marriage in ways that will live through all our lives and theirs as well.”
What legacy are you now building for the future? Are you sitting on past laurels, spreading your gifts in the now, making plans for future generations? Does your legacy simply include monetary assistance, or a combination of all you have to give? I’d love to hear from you whether you are in your First, Second or Third Trimester. This is about us. This is about how we all build a future together. Legacies are alive and can be given freely as well as saved for the future. Tell me your story.
